While I am very interested in making my own films, working as a director in charge of other animators feels rather stressful. I want to put so much care and effort into the animation when I’m creating something that is completely my own, which usually doesn’t match up with my given time constraints (and funding constraints, I expect, once I’m working in the industry); and not to mention having other animators under me to oversee and give instructions to. I enjoy working in teams, but perhaps less so when I’m placed in charge.
There’s an expectation for directors to have a creative vision of the film they’re making, to know what they want to achieve and what the final look will be, and I find that this isn’t how I tend to work. When working on my LIAF film, it felt like everyone on my team expected me to have a vision of what my trailer would be (which is very fair), when in reality I felt like my idea and pitch was very hastily put together and barely fleshed out as a concept. I definitely had no clue what I wanted the film to be, and because of that, was very underprepared when it came to having team members who wanted to support me.
On the other hand, whilst you have less control over the overall style and visual decisions when working as an animator for someone else’s film, I think it is quite comforting sometimes to be able to receive directions and to follow them, without the need to make any major decisions. At its core, I like animating because I enjoy thinking about how things move, and working as an animator will fulfil that desire, even though there is less personal creative freedom. Having learnt during the studio visits that most animators they work with are freelance, I think it would be a nice balance to work as an animator at a studio and do independent freelance work elsewhere as well.
On a semi-related note, being a part of a collective also provides that nice sense of balance, working with one or two other people and collaborating on ideas and concepts. Izzy and I have the basic foundations of a collective that is perhaps currently more workshop & zine based, but I think it would be quite fun to incorporate more animation into it as well. (We’ve currently put our big animation-workshops-for-young-people project on hold until we have more time to dedicate to it).